Deborah Woehr

As I approach my three-year anniversary with blogging, I realized that I’ve learned quite a bit about the subject and who the reputable people are. But I haven’t mastered everything about blogging because this tool is always evolving. I’ve yet to learn how to set up a video blog or a podcast, for instance.

Darren Rowse has always stood out as an upstanding guy who genuinely wants to help people succeed with blogging. Earlier this year, I signed up for a subscription to Chris Garrett’s blog when I downloaded his free Flagship Content report. Chris also gives very good advice when it comes to blogging. So, when these guys announced the publication of their book, I decided to buy a copy to see if there were any new techniques or tools that I haven’t discovered yet.

I have a varying degree of knowledge of much of the material covered in the Problogger book. What I liked best about the book was the friendly writing style and the short exercises at the end of each chapter. I’ve listed the chapter titles below to give you an idea of what is covered in this book.

• Blogging for Money
• Niche Blogging
• Setting Up Your Blog
• Blog Writing
• Blog Income and Earning Strategies
• Buying and Selling Blogs
• Blog Networks
• Blog Promotion and Marketing
• Secrets of Successful Blogs
• Creating Something Worthwhile

If you are a rank beginner to blogging, this is the book will provide you with a solid education without overwhelming you. I wish this book had been on the market when I first started blogging in 2005 because it would have been a tremendous help. As an experienced blogger, I was hoping for a blook (blog-turned-book), where all of the posts were organized by category that I could refer to when I needed information on a specialized topic. Because I suffer from eye strain (from staring at the computer all day), a hard copy would have been a treat to have. That was my only disappointment with the Problogger book.

Several weeks ago, I posted an email that I received from a friend, which spoke volumes about dealing with nasty people. It was called The Law of the Garbage Truck. I should have printed it out and stapled it to my forehead because once I posted the message, I went about my way and forgot about it.

These past few weeks have seen more stress and anxiety than I’ve experienced in a long time. I’ve been juggling two full-time jobs since I got hired for the company I’m now working for, although that’s about to change very soon. My new job is a lot more challenging than I had anticipated, which has me very frustrated right now. On top of that, a coworker I thought was a friend turned vicious on me the moment I sat down at my new desk.

That stung quite a bit. But this is what she does to people in order to boost her poor self-esteem, I’ve been told. So, now I’m faced with dual challenges: mastering my new job and deflecting her barbs. I plan on fleshing her personality out on a piece of paper for a future character.

I’m reminded of the speech that Ray Bradbury gave at the 1999 Writer’s Conference in Palm Springs. He said that he would write a lot when people disappointed him. I’ve been doing a lot of writing lately––seven chapters in the space of a month. Outside of the NaNoWriMo competitions, I’ve never achieved that volume. Whether or not it’s any good, I’ll know when I go over the draft. In the meantime, I worked out a storyline for my latest paranormal novel. Last weekend, I came up with a title.

Other than calling my mother and grandmother, I don’t plan on doing much else for Mother’s Day, except to enjoy the peace.

Today, I have a special guest. His name is Mark Chabus, and he was the fiancee of 9/11 victim Lynne Morris, the young woman I profiled two years ago. When Mark wrote to me last week about writing a follow-up story, I accepted his offer. I think you’ll find his story inspirational.

1. What sparked the rekindling between you and Lynne?

Funny, I was just speaking to someone about this the other day. I actually read the book Conversations with God. When I was through with it, I began to rethink a lot of things from my past. Lynne was a very special person and when I started feeling good about myself, she was the first person I thought of.

I moved up to Buffalo, NY, to take care of my two younger cousins. My aunt was in a treatment facility and I went up there to give my uncle a hand. While I was there I spent a lot of time with my cousins, who were pure positive energy. When I wasn’t with them I was at the book store devouring books. I really felt good about where I was and I felt
an urge to connect with Lynne.

I was so nervous that she might have moved on and maybe didn’t even want to speak to me. Fortunately, she was happy I called and we spent hours on the phone, just catching up. We talked every day after that and planned to meet up when I returned from Buffalo. Oh, and I also sent her a copy of the book. I was up there for about another month or so and then I returned to Long Island. That first weekend, she drove
down to see me. We connected immediately and began an incredible relationship.

2. When was the last time you spoke to her? What was the last thing she said to you?

The weekend before 9/11 we went down to Atlantic City with my parents for a little getaway weekend. It was a fun time and I loved how she interacted with my parents. Everyone got along great.

On a side note, Lynne and I had gotten into an argument before we went to sleep. She told me she was going for some type of cancer testing and I was upset that I did not know all along. Strangely enough, I woke up in the middle of the night from a strange dream that she had died. I was so upset that I immediately woke her up, apologized and slept close to her until morning. Sunday she stayed over at my parents, where I lived at the time. Monday, she went back to work. That evening she was tired and upset about a few things. Her mood was the catalyst for a brief conversation. She ranted for a little while to blow off some steam and then decided to retire early. I didn’t think much of it.

That night, I was watching Larry King Live at around 3 in the morning. His guest for that show was the psychic medium, John Edward. I remember him fielding phone calls from audience members. He briefly described to a woman that when her husband passed, she remembered a particular walk through the park. Upon this walk, she had a feather fall in front of her and it seeming danced almost to get her attention. She felt it was a sign from her deceased husband and used it as a way to tell her young daughters of his passing. I distinctly remember being surprisingly over-emotional about this. I recall
thinking, ‘If I ever lost someone I loved, I would hope they would come to me and give me a sign like that.’ Until that day I had only lost my grandfathers, neither of which were unexpected or traumatic.

The next morning I woke up to my mom screeching in my bedroom. “Lynne’s building, Lynne’s building,” she screamed repeatedly.

I thought she was overreacting to something on the news and I was confused as to what was going on. I turned on the television and saw that something had happened to one of the twin towers. It certainly got my attention but I still wasn’t worried by any stretch of the imagination. I decided to go upstairs to the living room and I powered on the big screen. It wasn’t a minute later when the second building was hit. Now I was concerned. I tried calling her at work and at her cell but to no avail. I could not get anything on either line. I started to panic and pace back and forth. Suddenly, as I stood facing the windows in front of me, I had a strange feeling like someone was behind me.

Something was trying to get my attention. As I turned, I looked at the back patio glass door and noticed a feather dancing up against the glass. At that moment my knees became weak and I slowly walked towards the door. I opened it and the feather fell to the ground in front of me. That was when I knew it was Lynne and she was gone.

I have to admit though, I did not want to believe it and I did not give up trying to find her for the next seven or so days. I had to have hope that maybe she was still here and all of this was just my imagination. (I still have that feather in a glass bottle to this day.)There were so many signs after that that would blow your mind. She continued to send me them and still does to this day.

3. How did you cope with Lynne’s death? I’m sure there was a period of intense rage against those terrorists and everyone that allowed 9/11 to happen. What was the turning point where you decided to turn this horrible memory into something positive?

Coping with Lynne’s death was a very long process. There were many things that I did, some good and some not so good. I have to say, I never blamed anyone or felt rage against the perpetrators. It just seemed to me like misused energy. Maybe it was inner knowing or maybe it was from the books I was reading. I was angry at God for taking her and for ruining my life but not at the ones that masterminded that hideous plot.

4. How has this affected your lives and those around you?

It has affected my life in so many ways. In the beginning it caused me to reevaluate everything I knew and believed. Before Lynne’s death I had an interest in metaphysics and the afterlife but after she passed, I really investigated. Especially when she was communicating with me. She sent me signs everyday. I had a white dove that hung around my truck, I had a butterfly that followed me for close to a year, and every time I crossed paths with a medium, they always had a message from Lynne.

It has affected the people in my life because I have a tendency to share everything with them. So everyone watched me fall apart and then put myself back together. Now, I think they know it’s possible. Knowing I can get through the worst has given me the freedom to eliminate worry and enjoy more of my days. I definitely do what makes me happy and make the most or every day. I don’t know how long we are going to be here so I spend my time mostly doing the things that I enjoy.

I don’t waste time anymore and I don’t wait for life to get better, I just make it better. I am a speaker and a writer and I love to think people find healing in what I have to say. I am passionate about it because I have dealt with the pain and I know there is relief. I value my experience because when I share my story with others, they can connect to it and people understand where I am coming from.

5. What can you offer to those who have gone through your experience?

I can offer those who are going through what I experienced that they should feel and express all their emotions. I bottled up my emotions for so long and didn’t want to face it. When you do that, you get ill. I suffered from health problems for years and it was all
because of ignoring how I was feeling. If you are sad … cry, if you are mad … scream, and if you are upset, remember that it too will pass.

I met with a woman last week who was dealing with grief, she explained to me that everyone thought that she was dealing with it wrong. I assured her that anyone who has gone through it personally would never tell her that the way she is doing it wrong. There is no wrong way, there’s only YOUR way. What works for one may not work for another. Its all about feeling and experiencing.

Thank you for sharing your experiences with us, Mark!

About Mark Chabus

Mark is the founder of Heavenly Chef, Inc., a company that teaches people how to cook in the privacy of their own home. He has set up a new blog to help people realize their passions in life, which you can visit at Follow Your Passion.

I’ve heard of Jeffrey Deaver, but I’ve never read any of his books. Some of you may have read The Bone Collector or The Sleeping Doll. CBS interviewed him about his writing process, which he talks about how long it takes him to outline a story and how many pages this outline contains. Then there are the rewrites. Watch this video.

Source: All Written Down

A huge thanks to John and Jim, who offered a great list of plugins for this new upgrade. The admin dropdown menu plugin and the Remove Max Width are essential in getting the old feel of WordPress back onto your browser.

Other plugins that work great with WordPress 2.5:

1. IImage Browser: I love this plugin because it lets you resize the image to fit perfectly within your text, make thumbnails clickable to the original size of the image, and add captions within a single dialog box. It also displays every image that you have uploaded to your server.

2. WP-ShortStat: This is a good stats plugin that tells me where my visitors are coming from, what keywords they use to find me, what websites are linking to me, etc. I was pleasantly surprised to find this plugin still working after I upgraded.

As you can see, I’m not that big on plugins, just the ones that I absolutely need.

I’ve noticed some new things in this new version, other than the media features, like writing links and the blog rating system. I’ll be exploring this upgrade for a little while until I get really comfortable with it. If you’re going to upgrade to 2.5, I would definitely plan on installing the above plugins. Otherwise, plan on hunting down the features that were so readily available in the older versions of WordPress.

I’ve been debating whether or not to upgrade my blogs to WordPress 2.5 for a couple of weeks now, but held off mainly because I was busy and I wanted to read about any bugs that needed fixing first. Ever since 2.0 came out, I’ve been cautious about jumping for the upgrades. Tonight, I decided to upgrade the blog on DeborahWoehr.com.

Upgrading was a snap, thanks to Fantastico. But once I saw the interface, I thought, “Ick.”

I liked having the navigation bar at the top, where I can gain easy access to any aspect of my blog. I’m reminded of the time my mother-in-law decided to organize my bedroom years and years ago. She organized everything so well that I couldn’t find anything. That’s what this layout feels like.

The first thing I did was try to upload an image with the new media interface. It gave me an error message, although it uploaded the image just fine. I had to copy and paste the URL into my post. Trying to make a private post proved fruitless as well; the post showed up anyway.

I hate the way they shave down the Settings so all you get is the general page. You can still access your user profile and your plugins, though. After five minutes, I still haven’t been able to find my blogroll or theme editor.

So far, my first impression of WordPress 2.5 is not good. While the media widgets are a cool feature, the interface is not user friendly. It will take some time and tweaking in order to get used to this upgrade. Not recommended.

If you like cats, watch this video. I loved the similarities between how a cat ignores its master and how a nerdy engineer tries to pick up on women. The results are the same.

I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was really friendly.

So I asked, ‘Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!’

This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, ‘The Law of the Garbage Truck.’

He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they’ll dump it on you.

Don’t take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well and move on. Don’t take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets. The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life’s too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so…..

‘Love the people who treat you right. Pray for the ones who don’t.’

You are the people who treat me right, so I wanted to share this with you.

Thank you for being a part of my life.

Sent by a former colleague, turned friend.