Deborah Woehr

Only Horror Fans Will See the Humor

My birthday is coming up soon. So, it was no surprise when I found a card from a family friend waiting for me in my mailbox. What surprised me was the content of the card. Only a horror writer/reader can appreciate the twisted humor in this card. I’ll share it with you.

DEBBIE

did you ever stare at the flickering
candles on your birthday cake,
while your friends and family
sing that son and then their voices
sort of faded and were drowned
out by ominous-sounding organ music
that kept playing louder and faster . . .
Then dozens of tiny, twisted,
weasel-like creatures with glowing
red eyes burst out of the cake . . .
. . .throwing frosting and still-burning
candles all over the room
while you looked on, paralyzed
with horror as the weasel creatures
started attacking the party-goers,
ripping at their throats and faces
with razor-sharp teeth, turning
the once festive scene into one of
unrelenting TERROR?!