Published by Deborah on 31 Oct 2005 at 06:03 pm
Happy Halloween!
The top 15 complaints of the modern day vampire :-
15) Grunge look makes it tough to tell living from the undead.
14) Nutrasweet or not, fat-free blood tastes like crap.
13) Hard to get a decent puncture with latex on your fangs.
12) Three Words: Daylight Savings Time
11) Thanks to all those Marilyn Manson fans, we just aren’t taken seriously any more.
10) After 45 years of Communist rule, it’s impossible to find clean, uncontaminated Transylvanian soil for bottom of coffin.
9) After 100 years of trying, still can’t score with Elvira. 
No bat is safe with Ozzy Ozbourne around.
7) With all those crucifix-wearing Madonna clones, junior highs are suddenly off-limits.
6) No warm blood for miles around DC.
5) Exhausted from all those Calvin Klein photo shoots.
4) Sick and tired of being mistaken for Keith Richards
3) Buxom wenches of old have been replaced by aerobicized “hardbodies.”
2) Baboon heart makes everything taste gamey.
And the number 1 complaint of Modern-day Vampires:
1) No small task beating F. Lee Bailey to a warm body.
Have a safe and sugar-filled holiday. 
Lee Pletzers on 01 Nov 2005 at 8:40 am #
wahahahahahahahahaha
I liked that.
Deborah on 01 Nov 2005 at 4:22 pm #
Me, too.
I appreciate a sick and/or dry sense of humor.
Pat Kirby on 03 Nov 2005 at 9:27 am #
Very cute.
Of course my vampires tend to break stereotypes. Primary vamp in WIP is a beer drinking sports nut who sleeps at night so he can watch ESPN during the day. He loves the modern age.
Hope your Halloween was fun!
Deborah on 03 Nov 2005 at 10:54 am #
That’s funny, Pat! I love it when people step outside the box.
Yes, my Halloween was fun. I got drunk (a rare event) last Saturday, nursed a hangover on Sunday, and sat through a grueling kiddie parade (nearly two hours) on Monday.
michaelm on 05 Nov 2005 at 4:22 am #
Funny.
#4 is my favorite.
I think Keith has been a member of the undead for years. Come to think of it, Charlie Watts isn’t very far behind…
Deborah on 05 Nov 2005 at 9:46 am #
I agree, Keith Richards has always looked godawful.
michaelm on 08 Nov 2005 at 7:25 pm #
Deborah-
I’m trying like heck to make it in the blogosphere and I thank you dearly for the link.
It means a lot. This is a great site.
I look forward to your future visits to Smoke and Mirrors…
Thanks again.
~michaelm
(Mick isn’t looking particularly well these days either. Is it possible he’s one of the undead as well?)
Deborah on 08 Nov 2005 at 7:54 pm #
You’re very welcome, Michael.
And, thank you for the kudos! As for Mick, he is most definitely a member of the undead.