Published by deborah.woehr on 09 Feb 2006 at 02:03 pm
ADHD: What’s Really Going On
About 75% of my sons’ friends are on some form of ADHD medication. I remember hearing something about Attention Deficit Disorder on television back in the early 90’s, before I had my oldest. My reaction back then was, “What a stupid name and a horrible label to put on a child!”
My opinion hasn’t changed, but strengthened over the years by what I’ve seen and experienced with children. It’s not about the lack of the ability to pay attention, but the lack of discipline inside the home, which permeates every aspect of that child’s life.
Our school systems are trying to fight this “disorder” by pumping these kids full of drugs, which in the long run, destroys their health physically and mentally. And the awful part is, that these drugs aren’t helping kids behave.
Feds Consider Warnings on ADHD Drugs
fredcq on 09 Feb 2006 at 3:05 pm #
I agree with you 100%. I’m not sure what is going on with today’s kids but where are all this is coming from. I agree with your assesment of “lack of discipline” but let me also throw something else out there. Diet. My fiends think that their son is ADHD because he is so hyperactive. They are great parents overall but they let the kid have tons of sugar. I have seen him drinking coke and eating cookies all the time. No wonder he is running around like a nut. I also think that kids sitting in front of a TV all causes them to have attention problems. Either way, I don’t think that pumping them full of drugs is the answer.
Karen Lee Field on 09 Feb 2006 at 6:32 pm #
Whilst there may be some children with a real problem, I believe most are undisciplined little brats. In other words, I agree with you.
When I was young, we used to play outside for hours, these days I rarely see kids in the street. What are they doing? Watching TV, playing Platstation (or it’s equivalent), or messing around on the computer. No wonder they have so much energy to burn.
Also, parents don’t have control of their children like the “olden days”. New laws are to blame for this, most of the time. The parent isn’t allowed to discipline their children and can be charged with “child abuse” for simply smacking their child for misbehaving (it never did me any harm; the couple of times it happened to me).
Our world is going down the drain…fast. I hate to think of what the future generations will be like, and to be honest I don’t think I’d have children in today’s world (if I was just starting out).
Lee on 09 Feb 2006 at 10:20 pm #
I also agree. Kids seem to have the run of the house these days and I think a lot of it is the parent’s fault. No one wants to play the bad guy and discipline the little shit.
But it has to be done.
The world is already filled with lazy parents, or money hungry parents, and the kids get to do what they want. Imagine what the future will be like if this continues.
Drugging the kids is NOT the answer.
pat kirby on 10 Feb 2006 at 8:08 am #
Totally agree. Although I don’t know if all are undisciplined brats. Many are, granted. But today’s school systems, with regimentalized curricula are a poor match for many young boys (the most often diagnosed as ADD). Interesting article in Newsweek recently about boys and how they learn. Basically, “boys will be boys” and expecting them to act like girls is asinine.
One problem I see, is that the media has blown up issues like child abduction to such an extent that parents won’t let their children play outside–Ye ole, “stranger danger” B.S. (Contrary to the media’s misdirection, most kidnappings and abuse are committed by friends and family). Also, in the quest for “safety,” kids aren’t allowed to be kids. (Pain is part of the necessary landscape of growing up.)
Kids don’t blow off any steam or get any exercise.
deborah.woehr on 10 Feb 2006 at 9:28 am #
Fred,
I’d forgotten about the diet issue, but it is so true. My son’s best friend is the only one who has true ADHD, and his mother figured out that he couldn’t have foods with a particular red dye. Caffeine and sugar are other no-no’s for him.
deborah.woehr on 10 Feb 2006 at 9:39 am #
I agree, Karen. Society has gone way overboard in the opposite direction, claiming that kids are “little adults” and that we should treat them as such. Whoever invented that term needs to look up “adult” in the dictionary.
A swift swat on the butt does not equal child abuse. Sometimes it’s necessary if the child gets out of control to the point where he/she is going to hurt themselves or somebody else. But the media and the social workers have gotten everyone hysterical over this issue.
Fredcq on 10 Feb 2006 at 9:50 am #
I don’t even think that my friends son is ADHD. I think that he is just loaded up on sugar. I have seen him be fine and then running around like a loon after soda and cookies.
Fredcq on 10 Feb 2006 at 9:52 am #
Sorry, I had more to say, lol.
We never give our daughter sweets. We don’t even really keep junk food in the house. When she is at my mother’s house, they sneak her all kinds of cookies and stuff. We can see the change in her behavior after an afternoon with them. She speeds around all over the place. I have gotten to the point where I have to monitor everything that they give her, lol!
deborah.woehr on 10 Feb 2006 at 9:56 am #
I agree with you on the lacksadaisical parenting, Lee. Your job as a parent is supposed to be focused on discipline and building a moral and ethical foundation, not being their “buddy.” I’m grateful that I’ve met a group of parents who share the same values.
My sons’ teachers always tell me how good they are, which makes me feel proud as a parent. But I feel bad for the other kids, who unless they figure out how stupid Mom and Dad are, will be lost.
deborah.woehr on 10 Feb 2006 at 9:59 am #
Oh, yes. The grandparents! “Spoil them and send them home,” my father-in law used to say.
deborah.woehr on 10 Feb 2006 at 10:10 am #
Pat,
My boys are bored to death with the school curriculum, which is so outdated it isn’t even funny. You made a great point about boys being expected to behave like girls.
My husband and I discussed this about 8 years ago and believe it’s true. The school system is trying to turn our sons into docile little mama’s boys. Can you imagine these kids growing up to be soldiers? I can’t.
As for the media hyping up “stranger danger,” I wish that was hype for our neighborhood. Our old house was a block away from the elementary school, but we didn’t dare let our kids walk by themselves because of the problems with vagrants, most of whom were insane. Three girls were accosted within a six-month period.
In our new neighborhood, we let our kids ride their bikes up and down the street. But they’re always alert to the crazy drivers.
2006 Writer’s Blog Anthology » Blog Archive » Deborah Woehr on 10 Feb 2006 at 10:28 am #
[...] ADHD: What’s Really Going On This subject has been close to my heart ever since my oldest son started school. Is ADHD a disease of the mind or of society? [...]
Lee Pletzers on 10 Feb 2006 at 1:45 pm #
When I was teaching Karate in NZ, one of the kids was ADHD according to his mother and everyone else. He used to run around licking the floor and many other things and it was impossible to get him to do anything.
Usually he was okay, but sometimes he was off the wall hyper and I learned that sometimes he would eat tonnes of sugar straight from the packet, whenever mum and dad weren’t looking.
michaelm on 11 Feb 2006 at 6:33 pm #
I’m with you as well, Deb.
I’ve said time and time again that most behavioral problems regarding children stem from the home.
As they say, “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” and I truly believe that to be true. It seems it’s always one step forward, two steps back.
If it doesn’t work, medicate it. Sheesh…
~michaelm
deborah.woehr on 12 Feb 2006 at 7:27 am #
Lee: As a co-leader for my oldest’s Cub Scout den, I found that these kids hard enough to deal with.
Michael: Their parents were even worse.
michaelm on 15 Feb 2006 at 6:13 am #
Deb-
Wanted to thank you for the link on The Writer’s Buzz website.
As always, it’s much appreciated.
~m
deborah.woehr on 15 Feb 2006 at 7:36 am #
You’re very welcome, and thank you.
Marti on 21 Feb 2006 at 7:08 am #
I am determined to get through all of the WBA entries today. LOL
I think you have made a very valid point…I was a room mother for years, and many of the “hyper” kids just wanted someone to pay attention to them! Often the parents both worked out of the home, the kids watched endless hours of TV and video games (alone), getting little exercise or interaction with their parents.
Great post- thanks for sharing!
deborah.woehr on 21 Feb 2006 at 8:35 am #
Hi, Marti,
Thank you for sharing your experience. I know exactly what you’re saying about the attention factor. I was also a room mother, but for a year. This one little girl kept stroking my hair and trying to sit on my lap until I had to gently coax her into working on the assignment that her group was working on.
I talked to the teacher about what to do, and she said that this little girl was a handful. Yes, I agreed. But I also remembered what my mother-in-law had told me once. Negative attention is better than no attention.
Deborah Woehr » Blog Archive » Getting Back to the Basics or Revamping Our Priorities? on 18 Mar 2006 at 2:42 pm #
[...] Families have suffered over the past few decades (see ADHD: What’s Going On). Something needs to be done, but you can’t change things overnight. Look how long it took us to get into the place we’re in now. [...]