Karen wrote an excellent post called The Lure of a New Project, where she discusses how writers fall into the trap of starting new projects before they finish their current one. I find myself at the opposite end of the spectrum, obsessed with finishing a project before I start another. It took me about nine months to hammer out the manuscript of my first story, which I promptly shelved because I felt that bookstores had an overabundance of serial killer novels already.
I started writing Prosperity shortly thereafter and have rewritten it eight times over the past ten years. A writing mentor helped me with Draft 5. When I finished, his advice was to keep editing it until I felt that it was good enough to submit to publishers.
As soon as I typed those magical words, I would start at the very beginning. The problem is that I’m always finding things that I think need fixing. I’ll always find something wrong with what I’ve written.
I finished the 8th draft late Tuesday night. The next morning, I brought a copy of God’s Last Twilight to work with me and handed it to one of my co-workers. Everybody gathered around when she began talking excitedly about my book. I announced to them that I had just finished writing Prosperity and that I was shopping around for an editor. They were very happy for me. I smiled, but on the inside I felt a dread that I’d never experienced before.
What if they don’t like the book I’ve just given to them? What kinds of mistakes will I find when I look through Prosperity this time? Is it even close to being sellable by traditional or self-publishing standards?
The last question has always lured me back to the computer to hunt for mistakes, which inevitably leads to a near-total rewrite. This time, I forced myself not to open the first chapter, except to gather all the files together for an official wordcount. This time, I forced myself not to touch anything because I know myself too well.
Instead, I contacted another horror writer (who also offers an editing service) and submitted the first five pages of my manuscript. I’ll scout and contact more editors tonight and tomorrow. I’m hopeful that he/she will enjoy what I’ve written. What concerns me the most right now is that I’ve hacked this story to death. They’ll tell me.
My situation is not a unique one, but it is just as harmful as the writer who flits from project to project. The end result is the same: potential books that will always be “in the making.”
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Tags: Writing, writing fears, writing traps
I know all about this. My novel has been finished for almost years and every time I read it, I want to start changing stuff. Sometimes, I think I that I should just let it go and send it out….after just one more edit of course.
I’m glad I’m not alone, yet feel for you at the same time.
I think that a lot of writers feel that way about their work. Are you familiar with Dean Koontz’s The Demon Seed. It was a sucessful book and it was made into a very good (i think so anyway) movie, starring Julie christie. Great book. Great film. But Koontz read the book through later and was so unhappy with it that he rewrote it. I am also pretty sure that Koontz bought back the rites to some of his early works so that he could take them off the market, because, once again, he was not happy with them. So, like I said, you are not alone in the quest for perfection.
Having said that, if you polish a table until it shines, but then keep going back to polish it again and again, all you have is one shiny table. Perhaps in the same amount of time you could have had several shiny tables, and looking back into a room and seeing several tables gleaming back at you must surely give you a greater sense of achievement.
Have I just written the parable of the shiny table or something? Wow!
I’d heard about Koontz’s displeasure with his early works. If I remember correctly, Stephen King wasn’t too fond of his early works either. He didn’t toss them into the trash like he did with Carrie.
Excellent parable.
You’re right. In all the time I’ve taken to write this one book, I could have had eight to show for my efforts.