Deborah Woehr

My sister forward this in an email, and I couldn’t resist posting it.

We were dressed and ready to go out for a Party. We turned
on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet
and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and
requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave
the house. The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We
didn’t want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the
bird.

My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat
runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn’t
want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night. So, she
explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, “He’s just going
upstairs to say goodbye to my mother.”

A few minutes later, I get into the cab. “Sorry I took so long,” I said, as
we drove away. “That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her
with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I
grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her
from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass downstairs and
threw her out into the back yard!”

The cab driver hit a parked car…