Deborah Woehr

Mike and the Mechanics’ The Living Years has a special meaning for me, as it came out during a time when my feelings about my father were the most ambivalent, the year I became engaged to my husband, and the year I lost my grandfather to Alzheimers.

Yesterday, I read a moving post by my friend, Michael, whose father is in the late stages of Alzheimers. I thought of this song immediately when I read the passage where he questioned whether or not his father knew how he felt.

As I thought about what I was going to say in my comment to him, I kept seeing my father’s face in the back of my mind during an emotional conversation we had after my brother died. There were so many things I wanted to say to him that night, but I couldn’t. The emotion was too raw and sharp. In the back of my mind, I knew that whatever I said wouldn’t change things. I’ve done my best to love him, and he’s done his best to love me.

I’ll call him tomorrow to wish him a happy Father’s Day. We’ll catch up with each other about the things that are going on in our lives. The conversation may last as short as ten minutes, or we may be on the phone for 30. Either way, it doesn’t matter. He knows I still care.