This is my first piece of flash fiction. I wouldn’t call this horror, but this is what came out of me this morning.
His brown eyes locked onto me when he walked through the front door, so dark with despair. The harsh glow of the entryway light bleached his olive-toned skin. He was a wasted version of his former self.
My family was seated in a circle, dressed to the hilt as they opened Christmas gifts, talking and laughing amongst themselves. Didn’t they hear him come in?
He continued to hold my gaze, his mouth drawn down at the corners, like he wanted to cry but couldn’t. I wanted to jump up from that circle and run up to him, but I couldn’t. I wanted hug him and tell him that I loved him and ask him why he left us the way he did.
But all I could do was sit in that circle and stare at him with my unspoken and unanswered questions. He finally broke the eye contact and walked down the dark hallway that led to our childhood bedrooms.
Don’t leave! Please don’t leave!
I tried to get up and succeeded in maneuvering myself into a crouched position. That was as far as I got. Something held me in place, and invisible force that I wasn’t quite tangible.
He was gone. The dark hallway taunted me, so final and unforgiving. It had swallowed my little brother whole.
I looked at the faces of my grandmother, parents and surviving siblings. Then I looked at my own family. That invisible force still held me in place as they continued opening gifts and chattering at each other.
They knew and had chosen not to see, as always. My soul felt blistered and raw. There was no escape, not for me.
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Oh, wow, Deborah.
No words.
This was excellent!
Very very touching, very sad, moving.
Amazing!
Great! Nice eerie atmosphere. What is it about Christmas that makes it the perfect setting for something disturbing? I’m guessing it’s a nice big package that includes the family and joy and giving, and it’s powerful to flip that upside down without warning. It could also be that after years of living in California, a few New England winters have also made the holiday seem very cold, and so I associate chilly temperatures with Christmas.
Great job Deb. It actually gave me a bit of a chill.
Thanks, Melly!
Chris: I’m not sure, but I agree. Everybody is laughing and having a great time. Then . . . wham! I’ve lived in California practically all my life, but I can still remember the Colorado winters.
Fred: Thanks, on both counts!
Wow, that was awesome Deb. I seem to have infected people *cue evil laughter*
I agree with Chris, there’s something deeply disturbing about setting a story in a usually happy situation and flipping it upside down.
Thank you, Ben.
Yes, I believe you started something!
Very nice, Deb. I enjoyed that.
A powerful moment, Deborah!
Lee: Thanks.
Jason: I was worried that it would be too much. But judging by everyone’s reaction, I’m glad that my inner critic was wrong.
Nice. I really enjoyed this one. I have to say, horror is an interesting thing. I am very much into crossing genre boarders and doing new things. A hardcore fanatic of horror might say that this peice is not horror, but I would disagree. I like to think of anything with dark language as being part of that grouping–for me, I consider what I do to be “Dark Literature”.
Anyway, great story.
-Tony
Thank you, Tony! I grew up reading and watching all kinds of horror stories. The scariest ones involved the dark recesses of the human mind.
Very good! Gave me chills!
Sorry for not gettin’ ’round much – so much going on (or down LOL)
Hugs!
Welcome back, Marti!
And, thanks.
Deb-
I thought this was wonderful because the reader needs to “fill in” some of the story. There are some very complicated emotions going on here and history as dark as a serial killer’s. Easy to read, easier to enjoy.
I’ve always liked flash fiction and have a piece I may post very soon. Though I suck royally at fiction…
~m
Ah, I’ve met somebody who has as strong of an inner critic as me.
See my comment on your blog.
As for this piece (and the rest of my fiction), I like to spark the reader’s imagination. Glad you enjoyed it!